Nothing Was The Same - Hotel Books.mp3

[00:00.000]I chose to believe every word I was fed
[00:02.469]and I thought the coals on my back were a product of the lack you left
[00:05.455]when you stepped back and racked your brain for a reason to stay
[00:08.962]but you could not seem to formulate any such thought in your head
[00:11.966]So you left with nothing more than a reason you kept silent
[00:14.967]and my mind with riots stuck in self perpetuated mental violence and dreams kept private
[00:19.721]The ambition to fix this wish list of selfish misfit realist missions contained within a vision
[00:24.720]of wishful thinking and sinking deep into a new bit of misproportioned emotions
[00:28.954]leaking through a seeping truth constructed by my need to feel important
[00:33.213]when you would look back and think of all the little things that you regret
[00:36.212]I just want you to think of me when you think back to all those little things that you regret
[00:39.720]I spent so much time convincing myself that the rest of this mess that I stressed within this relationship was a product of the world’s oppression
[00:46.713]not my deep desire to be needed
[00:48.716]And it's hard to admit but I guess I've come to terms with the fact that I just want to be needed
[00:52.468]and I convinced myself that I needed to be needed
[00:55.214]And if that was true than I would still be smiling like you still today but for different reasons
[00:59.953]I chose to dismiss the possible instance that the lips I love to kiss could form the words goodbye
[01:04.711]and it was a simple lie but I told you to and like the captain of a sinking ship
[01:08.205]choosing to believe the bottom of the ocean was a better source of oxygen
[01:11.961]It's so nice I still chose to believe I misinterpreted your dialect and everything you said about it
[01:17.460]your diction and dietribe, posture, body language and connotations all pointed in the same direction
[01:23.478]the selection of contingent messages postponed until further notice
[01:27.217]because I was ashamed to admit the problem and pretend your happiness came from me
[01:31.217]and that your happiness was important
[01:33.214]But we aborted the sorted truths we once distorted when I saw the shape of your dress when you wore it
[01:38.206]And that was enough until it wasn't and that's when you finally felt supported
[01:42.960]So the others courted you and you mentally recorded and endorsed the force perform of compliments you received
[01:49.464]when you felt empowered enough to take your final bow
[01:53.223]and find love within the arms of another instead of this heart of mine
[01:56.213]And that's fine because I would do the same, and I would leave me
[01:59.720]Not because I'm useless and not because I'm broken
[02:02.720]not because I'm sad and not because I'm worthless
[02:05.466]But because I saw value in your smile but not in your values
[02:08.722]and I'm sorry, and I love you
[02:12.464]And that's why I can finally sleep at night
[02:15.206]because you are free and you can thrive
[02:18.218]and I'm just happy I got to be apart of your life
[02:21.466]I'm just happy I got to be apart of the journey that you call your life
[02:26.218]and I finally feel fine because I spent so long trying to change you
[02:30.224]not realizing I was the one who needed to change
[02:33.459]I was selfish to assume you loved me more than you love yourself even though I never felt the same
[02:39.461]And there's so many things that my selfishness tried to take away
[02:42.959]but you were the one that was the hardest to watch walk away
[02:46.962]But thank you for letting me be a part of everything that
[02:50.456]you were building and creating and finding truth and life and you were relating to so much beauty
[02:55.214]and I love you, and I'm sorry
[03:00.216]Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey
[03:07.707]Thank you for letting me be me
[03:11.965]Thank you for setting me free
[03:17.703]and showing me love
[03:20.212]showing me love in its full capacity