[00:00.161]Gimme a C a "bouncy" C[00:06.825]Up here in Heaven at the Pearly Gates[00:10.260]I get to choose who are the showbiz greats[00:13.491]They mix with guys and gals from history[00:16.251]Oy, the cast of characters you just might see[00:19.764]Samson and Delilah's act has got to be seen[00:22.776]with sets by Michelangelo, who's a screaming queen[00:26.297]Joan of Arc is really one hot chic[00:29.308]Milton Burle's prepared to show us his enormous…resume[00:33.324]Henry the 8th is still a ladies’ man[00:36.084]But he cannot compare to Moshe Dayan[00:39.848]My 13 ex-wives, they're all here[00:42.605]But tonight I have a hot date with Golda Meir[00:46.371]Beethoven hasn't heard a word I've said[00:49.382]Wayne Newton is living but his act is dead[00:52.896]Chaplin croaked to get out of child support[00:56.264]and I just hurled some lightening at a dwarf named Short[00:59.525]Cain and Abel are my C.P.A.’s[01:03.039]Just got a hand job from Helen Hayes[01:06.308]Jerry Garcia brought a lid of grass[01:09.220]And I caught Liberace checking out my ass[01:12.984]Harriet Tubman loves her Tootsie Rolls[01:15.494]And Moses just can’t put down those Dead Sea Scrolls[01:19.007]Cole Porter’s mad at Merman 'cause she held that note[01:22.520]and Noah still insists he never touched that goat![01:26.035]Elvis Presley is still packin' on the pounds[01:29.052]J. Edgar Hoover just made Edith Head make all his gowns[01:32.817]Sophie Tucker likes putting on a show[01:35.827]and Lincoln has a crush on poor Sal Mineo[01:39.089]Al Capone's still runnin' from the IRS[01:42.356]And Jackie O still wants to auction off one more dress[01:46.121]The Earl of Sandwich still one hell of a cook[01:48.630]Judy Garland hasn't peaked yet from those pills she took[01:52.646]I think Helen Keller told me she's a les[01:55.656]But I can't understand a single word she says[01:59.170]Down there on Earth I was in debt and in depends[02:01.931]But up here in Heaven[02:06.949]your number never ends